Wednesday, June 16, 2010


So I infiltrated the forum for that writing course I was interested in.

Did not go well.

There's a 12 week introductory course (level 1), and two higher level courses (levels 2 and 3) of about 30 weeks each. As far as I can see the two higher level courses are all I would need for a diploma, and then another 30 week course could get me a degree.

So I wondered if I needed the introductory course. Hey, I've been throwing words at a screen for over a year now, maybe I'm ready to mix it with the level 2s...

Then I went to the Level 1 forum and saw the exercises that people were posting for review. Now I want to take up making pipe cleaner figurines as a hobby.

I locked my cheque book away again after that. Going to have to think about this some more.

My real problem is that a course that aims to teach me how to create believable, fully-rounded characters, may not be what I really need. I aspire to writing humorous pulp fiction. Perhaps all I really need is an enhanced vocabulary and someone to teach me where the commas go.

Here's the problem as I see it:

Military Dude: Major Hero, I'm sorry we had to drag you out of your daughter's violin recital; I know you hardly get to see her since you broke up with your wife. It must be tough having your own brother take a case against you, but I suppose it was inevitable considering the unresolved anger he feels because he thinks you swindled your father out of a fortune after he gambled his disability money at that Native American casino you helped your friend Chief Lazy Knees, and his boy friend, set up. But it's urgent and we need your help, just one more time!

Major Hero: Dude! Are you fucking nuts? Don't you see what I have going on in my life right now? Sorry, but no. Now if you'll excuse me, my mother has wandered off again and if she doesn't get her diabetes shot soon, she could lose her foot.

So no adventure, just a spiral into despair and alcohol abuse.

And that's no fun.

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